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February 2nd, or Groundhog's Day, is the United States' most monumental holiday. UIC Radio sat down with the infamous groundhog to discuss his livelihood as THE weather predictor extraordinaire.
UIC Radio: It is such an honor to meet with you, Mr. Punxsutawney! We know you must be super busy preparing for the big day. What's it like being the one who determines the start of spring?
Phil: It is exhausting to have that weight on my shoulders. Everybody expects me to predict the forecast and then blames me if I'm wrong. I am a groundhog, not a meteorologist. I don't even know my own shadow! It’s always, ‘Will it be spring or 6 more weeks of snow, Phil?' Never, 'How are you doing, Phil?’ It gets lonely being the only one to go through this.
UIC Radio: We hear you, and you are totally valid for feeling that way. Care to dive in a little more on the ceremonial process?
Phil: At the crack of dawn, an elderly man picks me up and presents me to a crowd, like I am baby Simba from The Lion King. Personally, being groped by some schmuck in a top hat is not the way I like to start my morning, but the fans love it.
UIC Radio: We believe it! Now, we need to address the elephant in the room. PETA wants to have you replaced with a weather-reveal cake.
Phil: Yeah! What's up with that?!
UIC Radio: It seems like they are trying to put you out of a job...
Phil: After everything I have done for this country, this is how they're trying to repay me?! It's ironic because PETA claims to care about animals, but then they want to replace me with food. I thought I was a friend, not food. Is a cake all I’m worth?!
UIC Radio: What would you do if PETA succeeds?
Phil: I would have no choice but to retire and invest time into my favorite pastime- digging burrows that lead absolutely nowhere. Good thing the government has a good pension! After all, I do have a family to support.
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