If Coach Ben from Yellowjackets was Coach Sue from Glee

*Spoilers: Yellowjackets Season 1 & 2

If you’ve ever watched Yellowjackets and thought, “Damn, Coach Ben really suffered,” same. But imagine if, instead of him, the team had Coach Sue—the tall, creepy lady from Glee. Coach Sue might be scary but she’s definitely a more fitted leader for a group of deranged and cannibalistic teenage girls. Let’s break down the key moments where things would’ve gone very, very differently.

The Leg Incident

When Coach Ben’s leg gets crushed during the crash, he’s screaming, bleeding out, and powerless while Misty becomes his emergency surgeon.

If it were Coach Sue:

She would’ve done it herself. No hesitation, no begging for help. Sue would’ve cut that leg off clean and then insulted everyone in the cabin for not handling it faster. Also, she wouldn’t be stuck lying on a bed for two seasons—she’d be up on one leg, marching the girls into order with a crutch. Survival of the fittest? She is the fittest.

The Hunt Ritual Trial

When the girls decided that Natalie should be hunted for food and used the deck of cards to determine her fate, Coach Ben said nothing. Literally. It was a turning point where his authority was completely gone, and he became more of a spectator.

If It Had Been Coach Sue

Coach Sue would not have let that deck of cards see the light of day. The moment she found out they were using playing cards to decide who lives and dies, she’d be dragging the girls into a lineup, reading them one by one. “You’re not hunters, you’re hormonal wrecks with daddy issues!” The ritual would’ve ended on the spot.

Coach Ben didn’t stand a chance out there, and it’s not really his fault—he just wasn’t built for it. But imagining someone like Coach Sue in his place is a fun way to think about how different things could’ve gone. Maybe the group wouldn’t have spiraled so fast, or maybe it just would’ve been a different kind of chaos. Either way, it’s safe to say the wilderness wouldn’t have been the same.