How NYT Games Evokes Self-Hatred

Just me? Perhaps.

On certain days the games are too hard. I get the Wordle in 6, if I get it at all, I miss the last two Connections categories, and I screw up on Tiles halfway through my first and second games. I get mad, sure, but I'll see the results and think, "Hey, you couldn't have done that. You don't even know what that word means," or, as I'm sure many other people do, a simple "That's stupid."

But there are other days where it's not the word that's dumb (is it ever, really?). It's me. I make up the oddest spellings and find words I don't know just to find out the Wordle was "Drill" after also guessing Trill, Grill, Krill, Prill, Brill - who the hell even thinks of Krill? Me. I do. I very confidently get my colors mixed up on Tiles and retreat into my mind palace that's set up like a preschool classroom to teach myself things like ROY G BIV and how many sides a square has. Four - it has four. But I can also rely on Connections these days to help me learn because I have the most disgustingly mocking abstract piece of artwork, like this:

🟨 🟩 🟦 🟪

🟩 🟦 🟩 🟦

🟪 🟨 🟪 🟩

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Then there are games where you can't exactly fail. I was obsessed with crosswords in high school, so the NYT Mini felt like a breeze. Some days, it feels more like a twister, like from Twisters.

I KNOW YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT GLEN POWELL STOP BEING A FREAK. I'M TALKING ABOUT NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC'S INSIDE THE MEGA TWISTER.

I'm so used to getting it in less than 40 seconds. The day I started drafting this blog I got it in 1:01. I refuse to play the game when I have long nails because it makes me angry when I mess up, and then I want to rip the nails off and light them on fire. NYT recently released a new game called Strands, which is like a word search puzzle except better and way more awesome. All the words are themed and none of the letters overlap. You can connect them in any direction you want to long as the letters are tangential. The puzzle also has a word called a "spangram," which is one word that starts at one side of the board and ends at another. You're given a theme and have to try to guess the words from there. I'm very bad at explaining things, so here's a picture:

In Strands, you might find a word that's not part of the puzzle (for example, in the bottle right corner I might've found "SKIM"). When you find enough of them, you can use a hint in the game, and it reveals one of the words. If you couldn't already, probably guess; I hate using hints, and I would rather cut off and swallow my own tongue.

All this is to say that NYT Games, while I continue to play them and largely without issue, fill me with an inexpressible rage and a sense of loathing so strong I can only compare it to what I imagine Henry Cavill's grip strength to be. I feel like the simplicity in the design of these games and their concepts appeal primarily to Millennials, so when I don't do well it makes me reconsider my own ego, and I resign myself to playing Brawl Stars with 13-year-olds on iPads who are also better than me, and then I just have to put my phone down and pick up a book.

Stupid blog done! Thank u for skimming <3