everybody already knows, unless they don’t: the importance of being known in community

The beauty of life is grace—

grace to become, freely.

Grace in being known.

In hard conversations, in the endless questioning,

in the learning of our people.

In community, I believe in being known.

I believe in inquiry and in allusions,

in the tension and breath that follows.

Everybody already knows—unless they don’t.

And if they don’t, they cannot,

unless they choose to learn.

We are made of everything we have ever been—potential.

We are made of everything we will be—potential.

We ebb and flow,

we reflect and rearrange.

My people, we ask questions.

We long to learn.

Ebbing and flowing is our natural state—

a rhythm our community can embrace,

question,

understand.

If they would like to learn.

To see the whole of a person,

one must hold both the lens of what has been

and what could be.

We have become obsessed with knowing

through the simplification of a label.

Bound together by a glance, a category, a happenstance of visual form.

This can create community—

but where is the line between in-group by identity

and identity by in-group?

What does the label mean to you?

Is it a set of values,

a way of living,

a choice?

Or is it an outfit,

a surface-level attraction to the idea of connection?

Connection lives at the intersection of inquiry and interest.

To be known in community

is to be known through the ebbs and flows.

As I have lived, I have inhabited forms

as familiar and as foreign

as the palm of your hand.

Becoming, reflecting, refining.

I have been.

I will be.

To be known is to be seen

in all the ways you allow.

To be seen for all you can be.

She says their face used to be more feminine.

Everyone agrees.

I think it is strange that they speak of her so distantly.

She lives within them still,

She, a fire for life that needed tending

to become all that they are.

She is not a distant figment,

to be dissected without inquiry.

They didn’t know her.

They don’t know them either.

Everybody already knows—unless they don’t.

And if they don’t, they cannot,

unless they wish to learn.

To me, it is all

a continuous exploration

of projection and protection.

To them, it is the difference in her face,

the fit of her clothes—

an aesthetic.

To me, it is a coming-to,

a reckoning,

a plea,

a whispered prayer

to something they don’t yet know

they believe in.

I have become.

I have become again.

I will continue to be,

in all the ways I am.

The beauty of potential and being known

is the conversation that unfolds between them.

To be known is to have your potential reflected back,

tenfold and unwavering,

held up by the hands of those who love you.

And you, in turn,

reflecting their potential back at them.

To be known beyond a moment

is to be recognized for all you have been,

and all you will be.

She is collected artifacts and handwritten letters.

He is a DIY server to share photos across the ocean.

She is carefully crafted salads for the people she loves.

She is chartreuse and the most beautiful stories from all over the world.

She is a family bar and Sunday calls.

He is contemplative and observant.

She will create a music-filled world around her.

He is everything his father gave him,

and still reaches out for more.

She is harmonies beyond conception.

She is going to be a grandma.

He will do anything to make you laugh.

She is her morning coffee and alarms.

She is stained glass.

She doesn’t wake up on time, but she wants to see you more than anything.

Everybody already knows—unless they don’t.

And if they don’t, they cannot,

unless they wish to learn.

I am orange peels and incense that burns holes in my bedsheets.

I am haircuts in the living room—never quite short enough.

I am handmade boutonnièresand her ribbon tied around my bag.

I am strong.

I take care.

I am the lake.

I am swans in a pond.

I am estate-sale tools.

I am carefully planned commutes

and a fear of being late.

Everybody already knows—unless they don’t.

And if they don’t, they cannot,

unless they wish to learn.

The people around you

are both projections of all they have been

and pools of infinite potential.

They deserve to be known for all they have been, are and will be.

Everybody already knows—unless they don’t.

And if they don’t, they cannot,

unless they wish to learn.