Changes 02/07/23

Every era of my life has been associated with music.

Picture a second grade girl laying in her parent’s bed not being able to sleep. An insomniac. Mom puts on “Rocky Mountain High” by John Denver. The rest of that year is Rocky Mountain High.

Picture a 6th grader first learning about SoundCloud. Not yet on the path to adulthood, things feel still for her. The girl spends most of her time with her sister and her sister’s best friend. Sister and her friend play “Electric Love” by BORNS. The rest of that year is Electric Love.

I’m someone who needs to associate things that are familiar to me with things that aren’t familiar. Feelings, experiences, perspectives; they can all be categorized into specific boxes that make them make sense to me.

Of course, this isn’t always easy. Nothing is fully black and white. The grey area that I neglect is hiding in the back of my mind. Nobody is just one thing. Like the Myers Briggs personality test, I used that to understand who I was and what I can and cannot do, according to the result. Not according to who I really see myself as.

The many options that are out in there in the world scare me. How am I supposed to know which one fits me perfectly? Well, I’ve started to realize that it doesn’t work that way.

Picture a girl in her last few months of high school. Bright blonde hair, yoga pants and intense anxiety. She wants to find a meaning to what is happening around her. She listens to “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” by Tears for Fears. The rest of that year is Everybody Wants to Rule the World.

Picture a girl in her first few months of college. Recently cut all of her hair off, got a septum piercing and excited for a new start. Meeting new people, listening to new music that she had never even thought about. Going to her first concert ever, she’s introduced to a new band; Babehoven. The rest of the semester revolves around Babehoven.

These songs last for each era, but do not define me. They are not permanent. As I grow and change through the years, so does my music taste, and so do the songs that identify each phase. Change isn’t my favorite thing, but it must happen, and will happen no matter what. Why be scared of something that is going to happen anyway?