Every day in the morning I stand in the front of the mirror and try to figure out a million ways in which I would be criticized. The one thing that stands out the most is my body. Not having the perfect “socially acceptable” body gets to everyone out there whether male or female.
“Why is she wearing that? It is not flattering at all,” or “I am so ugly compared to her I will never find a date” are common thoughts and phrases that are examples of body shaming. Body shaming of men is real too, as short men, bald men, thin men, fat men, and even otherwise athletic men who aren’t visibly ripped may face mockery for not measuring up.
The action or practice of humiliating someone or oneself by making mocking or critical comments about their body shape or size is what is known as body shaming.
Body shaming is done by parents, siblings, friends, enemies, and schoolmates and is often portrayed in the media. “Negatively commenting about the size or shape of anyone’s body can be extremely damaging to them, potentially leading to low-self esteem, anger, self-harm, and even mental health disorders, specifically body dysmorphic disorder,” (ANAD.org).
And that’s how it started for me too- thinking that people making fun of my appearance is okay because the opinion of my parents matters the most and if they say I am not beautiful they may be right. Then when I moved into the real world I never tried fighting back because it never occurred to me that “I’m myself with a good personality and that is enough beauty for me!” Instead, I stopped eating and I started puking my food out while taking anti-suppressants secretly. This affected my studies and mental health. Soon I realized that this was making me unhappy instead of making me satisfied.
Yet, there are days when I come across models and my friends who are perfectly acceptable by society and I wonder to myself “would it be easy if I looked like them?” I’ve been called everything from a cow to a pig and somehow I forgot to tell them that I am human.
“We are our own worst critic” is often a phrase we use to describe when we, as individuals, are too hard on ourselves. For most people, it is a natural tendency to want to be better, faster and stronger. However, this craze for becoming better can result in severe mental health consequences, especially when it comes to our physical appearances. The media has commonly portrayed overweight characters as the running joke of the show, resulting in “fat jokes” and a severe manifestation of self-doubt known as body shaming. Body shaming is known as the action or practice of expressing humiliation about another individual’s body shape or size; a form of bullying that can result in severe emotional trauma, especially at a young age.
We all deliberately or mistakenly criticize our bodies and try and change it. So, let’s try this small activity to fix this. If it works, you and I will both be a lot more confident then we were, and if not let me reach out to you with something else that we can try to overcome this stigma together. 😉
1. DO SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU FEEL HAPPY.
Spend time with people who love you for who you are. Sing at the top of your lungs in the shower. Dance around the room. Take yourself out to lunch. Rent your favorite movie.
2. DO SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU FEEL BEAUTIFUL.
Get a haircut, treat yourself to a manicure, or wear your favorite outfit.
3. DO SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU FEEL ACCOMPLISHED.
Love to run, sew, play chess, tell jokes, bake, juggle? We all have special talents so find what you do well and do it often.
4. DO SOMETHING NICE FOR OTHERS.
Pay for someone else in the drive-through. Shovel snow from a neighbor’s sidewalk. Mail someone a handwritten note. Small kindnesses can make you feel happy, beautiful, and accomplished at the same time!
5. APPRECIATE THE SMALL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF.
Maybe it’s your personality, eyes or smile. There are a million things to like about you, try and find those.
Because it’s not only about feeling good about yourself.
It’s about feeling good consistently.
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