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Say it with me, Black Friday. One more time, Buh-luh-ack Fri-day. It’s that special time of year yet again where you’ll get to see suburban moms knock each other out for a purse that is 30% off. I have already returned from my Black Friday shopping because my mother dearest dragged me along at 6:30 am. My emotions ranged from anger, fear, to pure bliss. For my readers today I have composed a playlist that has specific songs that should be listened to before, during and after all the Black Friday madness.
Before:
While you are sleepily brushing your teeth and trying to find an outfit that is aerodynamic and ever so comfortable at the same time, you need to be listening to “Levels” by Avicii. This song will not only put a spring in your step but give you hope for insane asylum you’re about to head into. Also known as the mall.
While driving to the land of Satan, you need to be listening to much more serious music. What’s a song that can inspire you to be tough as nails and take in all the sale opportunities? Eminem’s “Lose Yourself”. It’s time to get serious champ, no more messing around.
During:
So you’ve entered the blood bath. It’s still early in the game and you haven’t lost your cool yet. You manage to squeeze yourself between racks to look for that perfect shirt. Without warning you get booty bumped by the person behind you. UH NO. Before you turn around and smack the person upside the head, turn up Ludacris’s “Get Back”.
You’ve been at the mall for 2 hours now and you’re loosing it. You’ve heard people being incredibly rude and insensitive to the poor retail employees who have been there since 3 am. Multiple fights between store customers, all of which were unnecessary, and you haven’t quite found what you were looking for. Thats when you spot it, the pair of shoes you must have. After digging through the shoe bin, thats in complete disarray, you find your size. You put them down next to you for a second as you rearrange the bags you’re already carrying and when you put your hand down to pick them up THEY. ARE. GONE. Seconds of frantically looking around you can’t spy the shoe thief and you about are about to have a Hulk moment in the store. Time for DMX’s “Party Up (Up In Here)”.
After:
Hey now, keep your head up! You survived today without killing anyone or destroying a store front. Good for you! You got some sweet deals and you didn’t shed a single tear. You deserve nothing less than R. Kelly’s “The World’s Greatest”.
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